I Hate Computers, Part Sixty Bazillion

August 22nd, 2005

Ya know, every time I think “Wow, Java’s pretty damn nice” I run up against something so egregiously stupid that it makes me want to dash my brains out with a brick. For example:

The class java.lang.Double has a constructor which takes a String object.

So you’d expect something like
Double d = new Double("99,999.00");

to actually work, at least with a US locale. You’d be wrong. That throws a NumberFormatException. If you do this:
Double d = new Double("99999.00");

it actually works. Because you’d never, ever, in a million years want to turn a string that contains commas into a Double.

And doing :
Double d = (Double) NumberFormat.getInstance().parse("99,999.00");

throws a ClassCastException, even though NumberFormat.parse() returns a Number, and Double is derived from Number. Though to be fair, it may have thrown a NumberFormatException and gotten ignored since java won’t let you just let an exception propagate up to mian() and asplose there.

I’m sure the answer is something that does what I want but involves ten classes and 40 intermediate objects, and it will actually make some sort of sense when I actually find out what it is. But for christ sake, atod() just works. Not well, I’ll grant you, but it works and it’s obvious.

I need to find a Sun engineer and kick it in the nuts.

Because Every Good Idea Needs A T-Shirt

August 4th, 2005

Mr. castro? .50 BMG for you, sir.

kill castro

¡Ya no mas!

Re-Baiting a Castroid

July 27th, 2005

I think the Barking Commie Moonbat that Tex has been baiting is a tad confused about a few things, such as:

over 12 U$ presidential terms,

Yes, because we actually have elections, instead of the having the same rat-bastard murderous thug remain in power until he dies. (c.f. Arafat)

5 DEAD U$ presidents,

Well, we do tend to elect older men to the office. Only one of those five died in office.

2 impeached U$ presidents,

Err… one impeached. Nixon was never impeached. B.J. Clinton, however, *was*.

and Fidel Castro is still kicking U$ ASS !!

Right, I can’t even begin to tell you how much shame we felt when castro gave free rice cookers to people with no electricity, clean water or food. We had a national day of mourning when the oh-so-enlightened fidel refused foriegn aid for the damage from hurricane Dennis. The shame we felt when we saw the enlightened state of political discourse in the socialist paradise. Yes, fidel is truly kicking our asses.

Now go pound a banana up your ass, chimp.

Likewise, you dictator fellating commie fuckwad.

Hey, Val, when the cuban people finally rise up and overthrow the bastard and his murderous thugs, can we call it the Mojito Revolution? ‘Cuz that would be kinda cool.

Comic-Con Pictures

July 23rd, 2005

I didn’t take that many this year, but the better one’s are up on flickr.

Clicky badge for dorky goodness.

www.flickr.com

Gratuitous Respone To Musikal Posting

July 13th, 2005

I’d forgoten I’d taken this picture in Dublin.

The G.F. Handel Bar, somewhere around here.

I took the picture because it seemed odd that a pub in Dublin would be named after Handel, but it turns out The Messiah had it debut there in eighteen-mumblety-something. Can’t remember. Robert’d know since he’s got a book.

FEH!

July 11th, 2005

It’s 3 AM and I’m still awake.

This is part of my body’s plot to drive me insane.

I need a new host body.

Possibly The Best Line Ever Uttered On The Internet

July 11th, 2005

Karl Rove stole my Ritalin!

New Design Defeats Masters In DEATH MATCHES!

July 10th, 2005

Yes, kids, that’s Count Danté up there. Master of the Black Dragon Fighting Society, Defeater of the world’s top masters of JUDO, BOXING, WRESTLING, KUNG-FU, KARATE, AKIDO, etc. in Death Matches.

Yes, Count Danté.

Why? Because when you come across something THIS FREAKIN’ COOL:

well, obviously something Must Be Done. And since I’ve been in a near-terminal blog funk lately, well the power and sheer deadlieness of Count Danté was just what I needed to get my Chi centered again.

Now, admittedly, the design still needs some work. I need to find a good Chop-Socky font so I can make some badges for the sidebar. And the link colors need changed. And there’s probably other crap I need to fix. But Count Danté could not be contained. His Forbidden Secrets of Dim Mak had to be unleashed on the Interwebs. Also, it’s late and it’s going to be a busy week, what with Comic-Con starting Thursday and no leave time remaining to yours truly,

Count Danté Will Not Be Denied!

In fact I think it’s safe to say that Count Danté would sweep the leg, even at risk of disqualification.

You can even order Count Danté’s book.

“Yes, this is the deadliest and most terrifying fighting art known to man- and is completely without equal. These maiming, multilating, disfiguring, paralyzing and crippling techniques are known by only a few people in the world. An expert at Dim Mak could easily kill many Judo, Karate, Aikido, and Gung Fu experts at one time with only fingertip pressure using his murderous Poison Hand Weapons.”

For $15.95 that may be the best deal on the internet.

Heck, these guys approve.

(Count Danté introduced to Bad State of Gruntledness by Chris’s Invincible Super Blog. Chris has my eternal thanks. I’m truly a new man. Also, I snagged the completely bitchin’ Knight Rider piccy from Chris. That may actually be among the top-ten things ever posted to the Intenets.)

Chili Reflux

July 5th, 2005

I made some changes to my chili recipe this weekend. I may have outdome myself.

Combine in large pot:

2 large (15 oz.) cans Red Beans or Pinto Beans (I prefer Red beans, just for color)
1 24 oz. Bottle Young’s Oatmeal Stout
2 cups beef broth
1/2 tsp. thyme
1 Tbsp. Seasoned salt
2 bay leaves
5 Tbsp. Chili powder
1 Tbsp. Cayenne powder*

Cook the above over low heat while you prepare:

1 lb. Beef chorizo.
Just go ahead and dump it all in, grease and everything.

2 lbs. ground sirloin or ground chuck
(Course ground works better)
1 medium sweet onion, finely chopped
1 head garlic, minced

combine beef and onion in a skilett and cook untill beef is just cooked through and onion is limp. Add the garlic in the last two minutes of cooking.

Combine meat with beans and cook over low heat until thick (about 2- 2 1/2 hours)

I took this batch to a party on Sunday and people were raving about it. I may have achieved perfection.

Sad Joke

June 6th, 2005

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ha!

Ha Ha!

*sob*

BREAKING: Steve Jobs fucking Insane!

June 6th, 2005

Well, looks like the “Apple to use Intel” rumors were true.

Bloody Hell.

So after ten years of “The PPC is Better/Faster/Stronger/Just Plain Cooler” Intel now delivers “Better performance per watt”.

Yeah, that’s why my Pentium 4 M laptop feels slower and hoter than my Mac Mini. (And, yes Windows’ horribly broken VM system doesn’t help.)

Bloody. Fucking. Hell.

And this just a month after buying my Mac Mini. My PPC-based Mac Mini. My Mac software buying plans just nosedived.

I’ll say this, I don’t think there’s enough RDF Kool-Aid to soften the hit from this one. If Apple’s Mac sales take a dive between now and the Mactel transition the whole Board of directors, including The Steve, should be thrown under a bus. And rightly so.

UPDATE:
Good god. Slashdot is slashdoted, along with every Mac rumor site in my bookmarks. Wonder if this might actually provoke some output from AtAt or if Jack’s going to be hiding under the couch and sobbing.

EuroTrash Disco Extravaganza! (Ding Ding Dong)

June 2nd, 2005

Have you ever wondered “Are there any music videos featuring stereotipical Miami Vice Colombian drug Dealers in Swedish soft-core porn settings?

Wonder no more, your prayers have been answered.

And if you’ve ever asked yourself “Are there German Disco groups that dress in satin Cossack outfits and do silly dance routines to realy bad songs”?

Boy, have we got you covered.

(link via BoingBoing.)

Captian Ewwww….

June 2nd, 2005

This is just wrong:

JAMES SPADER has developed a closer working relationship with BOSTON LEGAL co-star WILLIAM SHATNER – after sleeping with him.

As if Captian Kirk sleeping with James Spader isn’t disturbing enough, there’s this:

And Spader admits his castmate has a very distinctive odour.

He explains, “You can tell a lot about a person by that first impression, that first smell. He had a very sort of, a strangely very attractive sort of pungent sort of gamey, sort of a venison or a lamb sausage… and a little bit of rosemary with a touch of ranch dressing.”

I need to go wash my brain out with bleach now.

Ewwwww…..

Mmmmm… Chili

May 8th, 2005

I love chili, so much so that I spent about two years of my life as a pre-teen eating nothing but canned chili and Kraft Macaroni and Cheeze (Accept no substitiues!). I’ve been looking for a Dennison’s-style recipe for a while, just a basic chili that amenable to being spiced to tounge-swelling levels and isn’t based on yukky tomatoes.

so here’s the chili recipie I’ve been playing with lately.

Combine in large pot:

2 large (15 oz.) cans Red Beans or Pinto Beans (I prefer Red beans, just for color)
2 strongly flavored beers (24 oz.)
(I’ve used Negro Modelo and Sam Adams, both of which work well. I’m curious how a really hoppy beer like an IPA would work. Also a strong stout like an Imperial Stout or Sam Smith’s Oatmeal Stout could be really good also)
1 cup beef broth
1/2 tsp. thyme
2 bay leaves
6 Tbsp. Chili powder
1 Tbsp. Cayenne powder*
3 jalapeno peppers stemmed, seeded and pureed*

Cook the above over low heat while you prepare:

2 lbs. ground sirloin or ground chuck
(Course ground works better)
1 medium sweet onion, finely chopped
5(or so) cloves garlic, minced

combine beef and onion in a skilett and cook untill beef is just cooked through and onion is limp. Add the garlic in the last two minutes of cooking.

Combine meat with beans and cook over low heat until thick (about 1 1/2 – 2 hours)

Alternative for the meat.

2 lbs. lean stew meat cut into 1/2″ chunks
4 slices bacon (the thicker and fattier the better)
1 medium sweet onion, finely chopped
5 (or so) cloves garlic, minced

Cook the bacon untill all fat renders (very crisp) and set aside. brown meat and onion in the bacon fat until meat is just cooked through and onion starts to carmelize. add garlic in last 2 mins. of cooking. Combine with beans and cook as above.

Serve over rice, or with cheese, crackers and sour cream. Or on hot dogs**. Or combine with mac and cheese.

*Alternatively leave out the cayenne powder and jalapenos and replace with fresh cayenne, habenero or scotch bonnetts. Or leave out entirely, if you’re a spicy food whimp)

**Note on dot dogs. There are only four commercially available brands of hot dogs that are fit for human consumption: Hebrew National, Vienna Beef, Nathan’s and Sabrett. Use other types at your own risk.

Off To Dublin In The Green

April 18th, 2005

Off for two weeks in Ireland with my bride. See y’all in May.

wedding

Googlewhacking

April 12th, 2005

This post is the only thing that shows up if you search Google images for “Kylie Minogues butt”.

I think I’m rather proud of that.

Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At My Own Wedding

April 11th, 2005

Walk down the aisle to the Imperial Theme from Star Wars.

Walk down the aisle to any John Williams music.

No, not the music from the Cantina either.

No, not Indiana Jones either. Or any music from Star Trek.

No “One Ring” references.

No shouting “Khaaaaaaannn!!!” at any time.

HER: God! I’m marrying a dork!

Not allowed to shake down guests for money.

No, you’re not wearing Converse.

Mike had better keep his clothes on. Brian too.

Not allowed to call her cousin “dorkbutt”.

Not allowed to walk down the aisle to “My Victim” by the Supersuckers.

Not allowed to instigate piracy against any of the boats in the marina

I’m not actually the Center Of The Universe.

I will not actually “Rule With An Iron Fist” once we are married.

If you think it’s funny, you’re not allowed to do it.

Not allowed to drink “too much whisky”.

UPDATE:
No, you’re not playin Jimmy Buffet, either.

Let’s All Go Down To The Gun Sale At The Church

April 11th, 2005

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Spikey Mace of Enlightened Compassion.

Get yours.


My First Reformed Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Hydrogen Bomb of Mild Love. What’s yours?

(Pointy hat to Silflay Hraka)

Annoying The Wife

April 10th, 2005

So, she’s watching some lame movie.

What is this?

It’s based on one of our books.

Oh, cuz’ at this point in the movie I’m hoping for a school shooting.

Stop that!

Sysadmin Blues

April 1st, 2005

Someday FedEx will manage to ship a piece of hardware from Rhode Island to San Diego and when it arrives no cards will need to be reseated, or bits glued back on, or insurance claims filed.

It will just work.

And I will die from shock.