Bad State Of Gruntledness

You know, if I ever sat down and catalogued the things that scare me to an unreasonable degree, like clowns, heights and the phrase “Carter Presidency”, I’d never have thought of animatronic monkey heads.

Until now. This may be the creepiest thing I’ve seen in a long, long time. Seriously, watch the video clip they’ve got and tell me you’ll sleep soundly tonight.

So real, it’s unreal! “Alive” Chimpanzee (Latin name: pan troglodyte…if you can believe it) is a fully animated, life-size bust of the real animal; he has been painstakingly handcrafted to exacting standards. His appearance is uncannily lifelike — with skin and hair and eyes that look and feel genuine. His head and neck — as well as his face and eyes — move as if “Alive” Chimpanzee were a living thing.

Watch the video. That’s not how real chimps move unless they’re rabid or driven insane by rage. And it can be yours for only $150!

# Soulful eyes track movements using infrared “radar” vision; his ears have stereoscopic sound sensors; his skin reacts to contact with touch sensors all around.
# Four distinctive emotional moods include “Curious,” “Happy,” “Fearful” and “Feisty.”

Along with it’s two other emotional modes “Kill whole family while sleeping and feast on the yummy flesh” and “Find Sarah Connor”. Still only $150! Buy one for the kiddies! Imagine their wails of glee as they run screaming from the room in joy at having recieved an Evil Carnivorous Monkey Head as a gift! Imageine the years of Therapy!

Yeesh. If anyone needs me I’ll be barricaded in a closet with a shotgun and a bottle of brown likker.

UPDATE (11/29):
SEE! See what happens when this kind of thing is encouraged? Nazi Monkeys!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 22nd, 2005 at 2:21 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.